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AND LOVED

by Mills

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1.
SPRiNG 01:07
2.
CHRiSTENED 04:05
Many rooms were christened this way: Smoke settling over everything, joints Being passed around. A sort of circle Protecting like salts from evil spirits, evil spirits Jenny shotguns her hit of the joint to Jessie Without using her hand as the barrel A two-in-one heartstring tug: Not only are they in love, they smoke together We get in Jessie’s ride Her car stereo is heavy on my body The bass bumps up against my backside I close my eyes, pass the time I can’t even tell we’re moving And these city streets have holes You can’t believe the toll, oh The car takes, like, oh, my heart takes Jessie parks just outside the door Convenience sold in every store We all get out the car; it’s nothing special, But I would like a painting of this scene, this sacred routine Aisles of snacks, coolers in the back I touch everything like I want some I fool no one Only a coffee for me—black—we pay separately We get in Jessie’s ride Her car stereo on my body We can’t help but sing along Our harmonies are strong Whose tunes are we listening to? I’ve got next song. (What?!) I do! And it’s a good one, too, oh The car brakes, like, oh, my heart breaks Sayin’ Let’s not go inside, let’s go for a longer ride Always be in transit, start a brand new life I’m just playing! Don’t forget your cherry pie Listen to my song when we get back inside When we get inside, don’t forget your cherry pie When we get inside, don’t forget your cherry pie When we get inside Many rooms were christened this way
3.
LOViN' YOU 04:19
I can feel you walking ‘round my house Like you own the place; so damn unpronounced Yeah, you're feeling yourself, I can tell Yeah you like it, and I like it So I’ll let you, won’t say a word Some things left unsaid are better heard So I let you, don’t say a word No movements, sudden movements But then I catch myself smiling I know you’re aware that You, you got me loving you, you, you (x4) You, you, you We sit in silence, it’s late at night It’s apparent that we both on a high And I don't think you got far as you tried Flipping pages, chancing glances And I let you, go on and look Maybe you’ll wise up, put down your book And I let you, go on and look I won’t give in though I’m shook But, damn!, I catch myself smiling I know you’re aware that You, you got me loving you, you, you (x4) You, you, you Come on baby, let’s climb into my bed Hold me close, whisper softly on my head Come on baby, let’s climb into my bed Hold me close till we sleep Oh, my heavy head, heavy head (x2) Close till we sleep Oh, my heavy head, heavy head You, you got me loving, you, you, you (x4) You, you, you Come on baby Come on baby Don’t you want to get into my bed?
4.
DOVE 02:49
Waiting, watching, listening All of the above Stay up late just wishing For the sight of a dove Sing my babe to sleep with song Instead of counting sheep Of my longing, wishing For the sight of a dove (x2)
5.
What should happen if my soul melts? Should I drink it with mixers or pour it out? Should I fill up the bathtub and just float Or save it for later when the tank’s low? ‘Cause the Sandman stays away and She don’t listen to the words I pray You can see how I’m confused What is a body to do? Coffee and anxiety, can you tell me how I’m supposed to sleep? I can pill my way down but then I can’t get up So I brew some good life pour it into my cup Coffee and anxiety, can we play nice all of us three? Let me be sleepy or let me not fry Let me be free like the doves of the sky Muddy details of the day-to-day Blame the secrets in strands of my DNA Maybe fix it with nonsense and self expression Maybe fix it with Rx and hour sessions ‘Cause the balance is delicate I’ve got a yin yang soul with no zen in it You can see how I’m confused What is a body to do? Coffee and anxiety, can you tell me how I’m supposed to sleep? I can pill my way down but then I can’t get up So I brew some good life pour it into my cup Coffee and anxiety, can we play nice all of us three? Let me be sleepy or let me not fry let me be free like the doves of the sky Something sits in my chest Stretches out down to my toes Circles round my head Burns like a smell in my nose I feel everything and nothing at all I feel manic in the veins of my skull I feel sloth in the rest of my veins Manic thoughts but a sloth I remain And anxiety, can you tell me how I’m supposed to sleep? I can pill my way down but then I can’t get up So I brew some good life pour it into my cup Coffee and anxiety, can we play nice all of us three? Let me be sleepy or let me not fry Let me be free like the doves of the sky
6.
SOBER 02:27
I don’t ever want to be sober And if I am please come over Help me get high on endorphins Turn me on till my world spins, oh, baby I don’t ever want to be sober And if I am please come over Help me get high I just wanna stay in bed Smoke a bowl, watch a movie or make love instead When you are thirsty get you water, wet your cottonmouth You-don’t-deserve-me jokes before you figure out Let you speak what’s in your head Watch you open up, unravel until you’re just thread Help you rid your soul of any darkness caused by doubt Help you take control and know what you’re about And as for me, oh I don’t ever want to be sober And if I am please come over Help me get high on endorphins Turn me on till my world spins, oh, baby I don’t ever want to be sober And if I am please come over Help me get high (x2)
7.
FOUND FAMiLY 03:38
We found rooms accordingly: thrown together by whether We followed a philosophy and worked for it In times when I'm in need, I am never untethered Y'all hold me down and set me free from something with Late night poetry, tokin' in my bedroom Laugh ourselves to sleep; smiles with the sunrise, too We stay on movie screens and play music in the backyard You can come around for dinner anytime after dark Oh man, we love each other. Complex beings with feelings, We speak our minds and find our strides, unsynchronized We can’t get along 100% of the time. But most times it’s fine, ‘Cause when I just can’t take it or y’all just can’t take it, Oh, we air our grievances like we should We may say those things today but tomorrow we all know it’s all good All good, ‘cause even when it’s not and the words left our heads hot, I chose you for this spot. You’re in my plot, paired up or not Charlie Classical across the way and Jenny and Jess up the stairs, down the hall, but just call up to them they’ll be down in a few Xan’s never around but she’s a laugh when she is She is the funniest person I’ve ever met And she’s not gonna put up with your shit You can’t get better friends than these We’re rascals through and through, beauties And please, don’t stare; you’re unaware of yourself We’ll bring you back to earth, hit the trampoline in our yard Or just come around for dinner anytime after dark
8.
Maybe you could ask me today how I’m doing Maybe you could take the blame for once Maybe you could tell me what’s on your mind so I don’t have to guess Since I always seem to guess wrong And if I’m made to choose Between the three, well You’re the one who’ll lose Take the blame For always getting on my back Take the blame For making me pick up the slack Take the blame You cannot claim you’ve done no wrong Maybe you could listen up when I am speaking Instead of shooting me down every time Just pretend you actually like the sound of my voice That only talks you up from where you’ve pulled yourself down Even though I know You love yourself more Than you think shows So, take the blame For making me use up my words Take the blame Even though I go unheard Take the blame You cannot claim that I am wrong You won’t give me the love That has brought us here How can it be love That’s left me feeling defeated? I am feeling defeated by your love So, take the blame For thinking that I’d always fold Take the blame For thinking I’d do as I’m told Take the blame You cannot claim that this is right That this is healthy That this is everything I wanted So, take the blame You cannot claim you’ve done no wrong
9.
WHAT WORDS 05:29
You make it so damn difficult for me To trust anyone else like you, like I trusted you And when I think of all the things you took away from me My love, my Love, my love is one thing you can’t keep You wanna leave, I don’t want you to stay But there’s one fear that I can’t shake away If you won’t stay and love me, who else will? ‘Cause I am stubborn in my ways And so guilty of what I want And I worry about my pride And my hot head But I am endless like an ocean At least that’s what you told me once You said that I was beauty, you said that I was poetry Lying in your arms and I, I, I, I died and went to heaven right then Your hands on me, the feeling so divine, your skin so soft Lying naked next to mine. These memories hurt me now, just like you ‘Cause you were stubborn in your ways And you got everything you wanted out of me And you’ve got enough pride for the both of us But we were endless like an ocean At least that’s what you told me once You promised me that you would never, never, never stop loving me You promised me that you would never What words?
10.
AFTERTASTE 02:36
I have seen your energy No, I won’t share how your mind is unclean And how you think all kinds of things When you think you’re alone Wicked things you think all day It’s your poison and you pour me a glass And I don’t ask or think twice I ignore all sound advice ‘Cause I don’t want you to go to waste But I’m worried about the aftertaste
11.
I don't want another lie from ya I know all your tells, don’t even try Please, not tonight It’s been easier to hide from ya You don’t look for me, we sleep on our sides Don’t say goodnight I just want you to dance with me Like you used to do I just want you to dance with me Like you used to do We’d come home from work First me, then you Felt like nothing was missing Dancing in the kitchen When you first wanted to kiss me I was too drunk And I told you that, and you handed me a glass of water Kept checking back, refilling my cup till I sobered up This morning when I woke you were already gone Your radio still playing those classical songs A sad piano staying high in the keys I fall back to sleep Just wanting you to dance with me Like you used to do Dance with me Like you used to do We’d come home from work First me, then you Felt like nothing was missing Dancing in the kitchen To no music My hand fit in the small of your back And your head under my chin like we were made for it Dancing, but now we’re so off track Retracing our steps couldn't bring us back We got so far from where we started In a direction unknown And I don't know when I started Wishing I was alone (x2) So, just dance with me Like you used to do Dance with me Don’t you feel it, too? It’s the last thing that we’ll ever do This is what I’ll be missing Dancing in the kitchen

about

Heavy harmonies, indie-pop production and acoustic guitar.

credits

released June 21, 2019

Written & Produced by Mills
Featuring Alex Slomka on Trombone (Tracks 5 & 7)
Mixed by Dane

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Mills Schenectady, New York

Brought to You by Black Coffee & the 518.

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